We are often told, almost ad nauseam, that in order to be successful and happy in life we need to be courageous! We need to constantly be moving forwards! We need to ‘step out of our comfort-zone!’ But do we? Really? What are some of the benefits of this. Is it really worth pushing through the discomfort that comes with it?
Ok, so confession time. I struggle a bit with change. It’s caused me anxiety in the past, and I don’t really like feeling like I’m not in control, so I thought I would have a look at this idea and see if it’s really as beneficial as many say it is.
So the initial question is…
What really is our ‘Comfort Zone’ anyway?
This was difficult because I can’t find much in the way of good, solid research regarding the concept and how it’s defined. Many of the books and articles that I’ve found seem to be anecdotal/opinion.
Ask yourself: how happy are you right now…let’s say on a scale of one to ten?
This might seem an easy enough question to answer at a basic level, but maybe, if I ask you to look deeper, you’ll begin to realise how complicated answering this can become.
You might look to how happy you feel about work or home life. You might look beyond the personal to local or even global issues. You might think about the past, present or how you feel about the future….Happiness is multifaceted. So…
What actually is Happiness?
A gentleman needs self-confidence. Understanding what makes someone a gentleman, such as knowing what constitutes good manners, knowing a few things about etiquette…all fades into insignificance if you can’t carry it off with a positive flair. If we want to be successful in our endeavors, and in life in general, self-confidence is an important factor. But…
What is self-confidence?
Self-confidence is a general term that encompasses a number of different elements. By understanding these elements we can, hopefully, find ways to improve it.
One thing to be aware of is that it’s not quite the same thing as self-esteem, which is more to do with how we feel about ourselves at a general level; how much positive regard and respect we have for ourselves.
When people talk about what it is to be a gentleman, they might used the term ‘stoic’. This describes someone who doesn’t show emotion, and who endures hardship without complaining. The term ‘Stoic’ (capital S) however, refers to the philosophy of Stoicism. Some aspects of this philosophy, I feel, fit better with the idea of being a gentleman.
So….what is Stoicism?
Stoicism has a long history and originated from Athens in Greece in the 3rd Century BC. It was originally a philosophy of the streets, with the term ‘Stoic’ coming from the Greek word ‘stoa’ which is a sheltered porch area where the people used to gather. Read more
If you type this question into a search engine you will get a multitude of answers. Historically, being a gentleman seemed to be something that you were born into. It came from a man’s bloodline.
The meaning of this term has evolved over time and, now, being a gentleman seems to be more a matter of choice. You no longer need to be of noble birth, but it comes with connotations of striving to be the best man that you can be. Read more